Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
two words...techno handjob
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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