btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
