my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize