i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
