You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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