GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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