fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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