Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
