in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
