I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
