I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
