he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
