how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
