No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
