Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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