My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
