he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
