we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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