I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize