Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she told me i tasted like america
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
