My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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