wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
