You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I understand Curling. That high.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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