I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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