I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize