Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
