I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
