He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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