Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
