ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
