Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
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3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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