I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
