Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize