ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
