Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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