I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
