Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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