KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
