...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
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I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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