may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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