I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
