I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
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I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is wine microwaveable?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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