Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
