I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
