i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
