You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think I just sharted jello shots
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
