just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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