You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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