You're completely useless in the revolution.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I look better un-naked...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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