You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
