I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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