I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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