I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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