so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize