You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
