apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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