Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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