Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I did not marry a roomba.
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