Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
