my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
