So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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